I suppose sadness, disappointment and frustration altogether when combined in a horrendous whirlpool of discontent is both drowning and overwhelming. My A level results are objectively fine but in my opinion far from perfect.
It pisses me off how subjects that I had performed consistently in and worked hard for let me down at such a critical moment. It pisses me off even more that English, which has been my strongest subject since I was in primary one, is the fatal fetter that drags me down into the Tartarus of regret and dismay. But hold it ladies and gentlemen, I haven't revealed the final punchline yet! I guess Life loves to mock me and toy with me, because it has bestowed upon me an 'A' for math, my weakest subject!
I can almost hear the cherubim laughing at my woes, how pleasant.
Right now, I can only think of these few situations that have probably led to my downfall: 1) I didn't get enough sleep for the GP essay paper and hence wrote rubbish, 2) I wrote too long for the GP essay and my examples were lacking for some points, 3) Some of my literature essays sucked so much that Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, Edith Wharton, William Shakespeare and Charlotte Brontë are turning in their graves right now or 4) I got a hard-ass marker who had a ruler stuck up his/her ass and just hated my writing!
Upon reflection, I do not believe my essays were that repulsive or abhorrent and I honestly feel that I tried my best. Granted, my essay for GP seemed a tad long but that was only because my handwriting was large. Maybe I just have to accept that Life dealt me with a bad hand of cards and that it's a lesson for me to learn from.
I suppose the only good thing about today is that Lupita Nyong'o beat Jennifer Lawrence for Best Supporting Actress, what the flying fuck.
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